IWTL how to appreciate life.

M21. I have a visceral, irrepressible hate for being alive. Life is boredom, loss, bodily processes, sickness, and disappointment. I can’t see around it. I have hobbies but they’re not enough. I can’t enjoy the “small things”, like when people say you just need to get some ice cream or watch a sunset or something. It doesn’t do anything for me.

I don’t necessarily hate people but I hate dealing with them. It’s hard to explain. I actually like who I am, but I can’t connect with most people. I wish I was more like them. I can’t enjoy the things they do and I can’t care about the things they do.

I must have felt this way for most of my life so far. As long as I can remember. I’m just so annoyed by everything. I know this is a kind of strange post but I would appreciate any advice.